Crud #60

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 18:51

My friend is a nurse and she works the night shift on weekends.. She returns in the morning, has breakfast with her three boys, 4, 6 and 7, and then takes a quick nap while her husband watches the kids. Recently, on a routine day, she woke from her morning nap, yelled outside to her husband that she was going to run to the grocery store for a few things. When she got to the grocery store, she noticed that people were behaving oddly around her and looking away. One woman grabbed her childs hand and scurried away from the aisle. Nobody said anything to her, and when she returned to her car she looked into the rear view mirror.To her surprise and horror, she discovered that her kids had colored her face with her makeup, and scribbled on her face with black indelible marker. When she got home and changed her slacks, she also found that someone had written POOP on her backside.
Her husband couldn't imagine how this could have happened while he was watching the kids, and the two older kids denied it. But the little one chimed in with "We was decorating you for Holween".

Crud #59

Submitted by Pam Emery on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 21:40

This isn't my own child but it HAS to fit. I was going to college and was running errands for the office. When I was crossing the street there was a frazzled looking black mother and child about four years old on the other side crossing to my side.
As we met in the middle he tried to pull away from her and she told him, "You better behave or I'm going to give you to that woman. She'd like a little colored boy like you."
He stopped right there in the middle of the street and was staring me up and down and said, "Mommy? I'm brown, SHE's colored" pointing at me.
I have quite a few tattoos which are very colorful.
The mother looked me in the eye and looked like she wanted the street to open up and swallow her and I busted out laughing and told her "Out of the mouths of babes".

This little incident has given me a chuckle many times since then around 14 or 15 years ago and will through my old age.

Crud #58

Submitted by Allyson Keller on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 15:54

my daughter is 3 and is sick right now with a caugh. the other day she came up to me and said that she doesnt feel good. i said, u dont what would you like for me to do? she said, may i have a peice of candy? it will make me feel better! lol! i couldnt stop laughing!

Crud #57

Submitted by Barbara Reese on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 13:02

My little girl was born with crud squeezed inside the chain of her DNA- a crudster from the moment, she was born, it seemed, her earliest goal to leave a mess behind her. Baby food peas were the original riders on her first attempt at rasberries, causing me to note how green went with my eyes, spaghetti sauce paintings, showed her artistic side, while the crane game action of her right hand showed she was very good with hand-eye coordfination, Hiding ice-cream bowls in her drawer and dirty clothing behind her head-board...for lack of a better word was clever in a sinister sort of way...I am happy to report she has grown out of it! Almost...

Crud #56

Submitted by Jackie Sampson on Tue, 11/23/2010 - 13:54

My son who just recently turned two is learning to say words and sentences. One day he came to me and said "light, I play" I asked him to show me what light he was talking about, he took me to his bedroom. I turned on his light, he smiled and said "Mommy I play" I said Ok, yes you play! Of course I thought I'd take the advantage of him playing by doing some laundry. About 15 minutes later he came to me and was angry with me "Mommy I play" I said I know, you go play...he said Mommy I play...hmmmm, took me a while to figure it out...I play means WE play :)