Crud #75

Submitted by max on Tue, 12/07/2010 - 22:55

My 7 year old granddaughter loves bacon. One morning, she was out to eat with her dad and his friend. As she was munching mouthful of bacon, her dad's friend asked her if she realized she might be eating Wilbur (the heroic pig of "Charlotte's Web" fame). She just smiled, took another mouthful of bacon and said, "Well then, Wilbur shouldn't taste so good."

Crud #25

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 01:19

On my side of the family we have a hereditary sleepwalking problem.

Well, a couple of months back I witnessed my son as he sleepwalked into the living room and peed on the comcast reciever box, shorting it out.

When we called in to report it, they thought we were prank calling them. We had to unhook the signal reciever box ourselves and take it in to their local branch office and hand it in over the desk for them to believe it actually happened, and give us a replacement box.

Crud #101

Submitted by Nancy Fontaine on Sun, 01/09/2011 - 17:41

Years ago my son had open heart surgery(ten days before his 2nd birthdaay)and we were warned thqat he would be very quite for awhile. However 2 days after surgery when released fron ICU. he saw a tricycle in the hall.Before we could stop him he was riding down the hospital corridor with his nurses runing after trying to stop him.
He had never ridden beore and was showing us that pain is a state of mind.
It's been 27 yrs and he's still running!

Crud #100

Submitted by Laura Lea on Sun, 01/09/2011 - 06:08

Years ago my children were playing in the Apartment complex play ground. And having a wonderful time of getting all dirty. They were swinging and playing in the sand with paper cups and running around without a care in the world. Knowing my children were safe with much older children there (teenagers) to watch over them, I went back home to do some cleaning. About 15-20 minutes had past when all of a sudden my children came running in. My baby girl age 3 1/2 was screaming at the top of her lungs. Needless to say as a mother in panic I ran to my baby not sure of what I was going to find. As she stood there holding her arm I new she was in pain. I tried everything to comfort her and trying to calm her to telling me what had happened. My son age 4 1/2 proceeded to tell me a big girl pushed her off the top of the sliding board.
I became out raged......... I ran down to the play ground with my babies to have words with this big girl and to bring this to the child’s mother's attention as to what had happened to my baby........ As I step into the fenced play ground area, there were about 10 children ( Black, Hispanic and White ), all staring at me and watching my every move. I then turned to my daughter and asked her which kid was it that pushed her......... With her big blue teary eyes and a snotty nose she says.... Mommy, The pink kid did it...... I was speechless!!!
In talking with the children and it was established that it was a 12 yr old black girl that said it was her turn on the slide and proceeded in front of my daughter. To which my daughter got mad and threw sand at her....So the girl pushed my baby off the top of the slid...

I took my daughter to the Emergency and found that her collar bone was in deed broken when she hit the ground.

My mother had sent in a shorter version of this story to Ann Lander yrs ago. To this day I don't know if it had ever been printed in her news column or not.

The lesson here is: If a child doesn't see people as their color, why do we as adults have to. To my baby girl all the children in the play ground were pink in her eyes.
Bless the innocents of a child.

Crud #95

Submitted by carrie14 on Sat, 01/08/2011 - 03:39

About 8 years ago I was a pre-school teacher in Spokane, while on a feild trip to a pumpkin patch a little 3 year old from my class was sitting next to me picking her nose......when she got the big green goop on her finger she turned and wiped it on my coat and said"I can't want this".I was glad to help.