Crud #110

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 09:55

I recently took my 3 year old daughter with me to my 12 month old son's 1 year checkup. We have been going to this pediatrician since my daughter was born. He is a wonderful man and knows our family well. During the appointment as usual, he was interacting with my 3 year old asking her developmental questions, "what's on the counter", "what's under the chair", etc. Then the question that started it all came......

Doctor: "Are you boy or a girl?"

Daughter: "I'm a girl. My brother is a boy and he has a penis."

The doctor paused for a minute but answered before I had a chance to intervene.

Doctor: "Yes I do, I am also a boy."

As if the exchange wasn't embarrassing enough at this point, my daughter had to top the cake with a final question:

Daughter: "Is it a big one?"

I just about died of embarrassment, but had to hold my laughter back at the same time. I don't know what prompts kids to say these things!? I can only imagine she assumed since the doctor was a "big boy"?

Crud #71

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 17:04

The other morning while preparing breakfast in the kitchen I noticed the lights on the Christmas tree flashing on and off. Confused, I went into the living room to investigate. I found my 16 month old son with the remote control for the Christmas tree lights pointed at the T.V. clicking the button. I guess he thought it was the remote control!? Wonder where he learned that?

Crud #70

Submitted by Julie Gurney Burgess on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 12:46

Yesterday my 5 year old grandson said to his Mom, "So you started your period! When do boys start there period?" Mom explained that boys don't have periods or babies and that men just have to put up with women while they have both. I thought that was pretty quick thinking on Mom's part. Go Sandra!

Crud #60

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 18:51

My friend is a nurse and she works the night shift on weekends.. She returns in the morning, has breakfast with her three boys, 4, 6 and 7, and then takes a quick nap while her husband watches the kids. Recently, on a routine day, she woke from her morning nap, yelled outside to her husband that she was going to run to the grocery store for a few things. When she got to the grocery store, she noticed that people were behaving oddly around her and looking away. One woman grabbed her childs hand and scurried away from the aisle. Nobody said anything to her, and when she returned to her car she looked into the rear view mirror.To her surprise and horror, she discovered that her kids had colored her face with her makeup, and scribbled on her face with black indelible marker. When she got home and changed her slacks, she also found that someone had written POOP on her backside.
Her husband couldn't imagine how this could have happened while he was watching the kids, and the two older kids denied it. But the little one chimed in with "We was decorating you for Holween".

Crud #68

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 12/02/2010 - 01:03

I was waiting in line at the grocery store behind a doting mother and her small boy (about 4 or 5 yrs. ), who was out of control. The mother was being a little too patient (in my opinion) , issuing quiet requests to "calm down" and "don't yell," which clearly were not working. Finally, I guess she wanted to get more on her kid's level, but as she started to crouch down, the kid started jumping up and down and smacked her HARD under the chin, which sent her flying backward onto the floor. And instead of realizing that he's hurt his mother, the kid started to scream about hitting his head. It didn't help that the mother all too selflessly focused on assuaging her brat with offers of treats instead of making him realize that his actions had hurt her, too. It just annoyed me to no end. Of course it was an accident, but still. If my kid just clocked me under the chin with his hard head, I'd let him know.