Crud #129

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:15

I was getting ready to do my little cousin Sade's hair, when she decide it would be funny to run around the house so that i couldn't do it. So as i chase her around the house she's laughing and saying "You cant get me, u cant get me!" I'm yelling back at her "Sade' come here right now! if you don't I'm going to spank you!" as I'm saying this she runs in between couches to run to the living room, and with those last words i said i felt my foot hit something then my life flashing before my eyes. when she had ran through the couches i didn't see that she had jumped over 100 inch projector screen that was rolled up and left on the floor. with nothing to catch my fall i braced myself for the worst because i knew i was going down hard. i went face first into my aunts marble table. As i lay on the floor in complete shock and relieved that i was still alive i felt the throbbing pain in my jaw where i had landed and i could hear my little cousin laughing with evil in her voice. luckily the damage wasn't to bad just a bruised jaw... but I did learn my lesson never to run after her again.

Crud #128

Submitted by bbakerxyz on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 11:50

When she was about 7, my niece told here teacher at school that her "Daddy liked water with olives in it."

Crud #127

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:54

About six months ago i had my wife's one year old cousin for babysitting while his mom had an urgent job to do. This little guy loves my "boom boom" as he calls my car due to sondsystem i have in it.

Anyway, I picked up the kid and we were driving around town to pass our time together. After about half an hour we went to a local bakery to grab a bit and a chocolate milk he adores. I got him his milk and couple of biscuits to eat while I got for me a meat and onion based thing (dun know it's english name) ;p.

We get back in the car and after 2 minutes drive, we stopped at a parking lot to give him his milk and biscuits. He started shouting and crying because he did not want to eat biscuits but wanted mine food to eat. Just to stop him crying i gave him that.

The little guy eated it, enjoyed it, and burbed after a while leaving an agly stink of onion in my face. After a while he fell asleep so i took him back to his mom.

Three hours later i got a phone call from his mom. Just when i answered the phone i dropped the phone from her screamings. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU FED THE BABY? HE FILLED HIS DIPPERS, SPILLED OUT AND MADE HIS CLOTHES FULL OF SH**. BUT THIS IS NOT THE WORSE. THE WORSE IS THE STINK.

A BADGER'S STINK IS LIKE EXPENSIVE PERFUME COMPARED TO THIS I'M LIVING RIGHT NOW. I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS. (She was laughing of course).

Since that day, the little baby was NEVER left alone with me to take it for a ride...

The memory of that stink is Unforgetable. Thank GOD i didn't smell it. :)

Crud #124

Submitted by tickytutt on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 12:38

A couple weeks ago my 4 year old had woken up and came downstairs. I told him to go Peepee. A few seconds later I heard him holler out the open door "Mommy, come look at the color of my peepee!" What do I say about that?!

Crud #122

Submitted by diane16lar on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 08:57

One day my daughter ask me to play with her, but i am busy preparing food and so i told her: sorry honey mom is busy. She gave me her cute angry looks with eyebrows meeting, and told me: ok mom later i will be verrrryyy! very very very busy so dont ask me to kiss you and hug you ok?..So I rushed to her and start tickling her.What can i do She's my little tigress! wrar! im afraid of that threat! haha